Friday, December 23, 2011

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS (2011)

[Update 02/07/2021: I have absolutely no idea why I fucked this review all up and wrote it about Robert Pattinson's character being a vampire. I just deleted most of it because it was stuipid. Will try and re-watch the movie one day and give it a legitimate review.  If I remember right, it was a good movie.]

Back in 1931, Edward (somehow completely immune from sunlight) is training to be a veterinarian. On the day that he's to take is exam his parents (obviously adopted parents since he had been a vampire for over 10 years at this point in his life) die in a car wreck. Edward is very sad and just starts walking. Eventually he ends up on a train with a bunch of roughnecks. He doesn't use his vampire strength and instead just goes with the flow to see where this leads him. Ends up he's on a circus train and since he knows a lot about animals he's given the job as the circus vet.

That's all well and good until he sees the star attraction (and the boss's wife), Reese Witherspoon, the horse rider. Reese is immediately taken in by Edward's animal magnetism and he with her, but they keep it quite. Turns out that Reese's husband is quite the asshole and rules the circus like a dictator, even resorting to tossing workers off the moving train if he can't afford to pay them. Soon an elephant joins the circus and Reese and Edward are commissioned to create an act around the elephant that will save the circus from financial ruin. You can only guess what happens next. That's right! Edward turns the elephant into a vampire with bloodsucking tusks!